It's started already....

Every parent knows that the day will come when their sweet little baby will start rebelling, and will vocalize just how unhappy they are with their parents.  I always imagined it would be at age 12 or 13...not at 2, almost 3.  I was wrong.

I don't remember what I did or asked Lincoln to do, but suddenly, he stopped, looked at me, and said, "Mommy, I don't like you!"

My first reaction was wow...did that really just happen?  The shock must have shown on my face because I heard Brian very calmly say, "He said that to me yesterday."

I took a deep breath.  I knew he didn't really mean it, but also knew I had to deal with this.

I marched over to Lincoln, looked at him and said, "I don't care if you don't like me.  I love you...and I always will."

I heard a "No! No Mommy!", then silence as I walked out of the room.  Then I heard him call..."I love you too Mommy!"

I know we have more work to do here.  I want to teach the boys to be respectful.  It's ok to not like something they are asked to do, but its not alright to lash out at the person.  They should express their displeasure with the request - not the person. 

I know I went through those feelings with my parents.  No matter how angry I got at them, I still loved them.  I know we will have challenges with the boys, and I want to help them understand how to focus their feelings appropriately.  Being a parent is so much more than changing dirty diapers and giving baths...that stuff is tiring, but the really hard part is teaching your children values, molding them into the people they will become.  Before becoming a mom, I never understood the immense responsibility of a parent.  I pray that some day my boys will look back and say what a great mom I was,  realizing it wasn't all roses, but knowing that I was only trying to make them the best men possible.

My love, respect, and appreciation for my parents grows more and more each day. 
They raised 5 independent, responsible kids. 

• We bring our kids to visit their grandparents, watching the amazing relationship form between the generations.  Why?  Because I cherish the memories that I have of my grandparents...garage saling with Grandma Wappes, and begging Grandma Muehlfeld for a cookie out of the freezer.  I want my kids to have those memories as well.
• We are socially responsible - giving to charity and getting involved in community events like Relay for Life.  Why?  Because I am thankful for all the blessings I have in my life, and want to help those who are less fortunate.   Plus, I want a better, brighter future for my kids.
• We have a close and loving relationship with our parents.  Why?  Because I recognize all the sacrifices my parents made for me and my brothers and sisters.  Spending time with them is the best way of repaying them for everything they have done for me.  .

What did my parents do right?
They were our parents, not our friends.
They had rules, and when rules were broken, there were consequences.
They were strict with us, but always had our best interest at heart.
And most importantly, they were independent and responsible.  They taught by example.

I'm confident that Brian and I will raise independent and responsible kids as well.  Why?  Because it's a family tradition that I want to carry on.  We work each day to instill values in our kids, values that I trust  will lead them to make good decisions, and define their character.  I look forward to the day when our relationship will shift - we will be friends with our kids, and build new relationships with our grandkids.   A day when we will be proud of the young men that they have become, know we lived and taught by example, and pray that our boys will value and continue that family tradition.